Someone picked up the phone after a few rings.
“Hello? Miyagi residence.”
“Uhm hello, this is Hiro is Anne there?”
“Where are you??! Why are you out this early!!!!!??” Anne said in a worried voice. I should have told them that I’m going out but since they’re all sleeping already and I don’t know that it will come to this though.
“I’m in a hospital at the moment.”
“WHAT?!?! What happened?? What hospital?!?” She exclaimed.
“Relax! I’m here with Chizu, she collapsed while we’re talking on the phone a while ago. I just called in case I can’t get home by breakfast.” I explained.
“I see. Well you should’ve thought that before you go out! How’s Miss Chizune?” Her voice became softer now. I like her soft and modest voice better than her shouting one. She’s a scary older sister sometimes.
“She’s OK now. The doctor said it is just because of her fever she’s in her room now. I’ll be going now, I’ll try to come home as soon as Chizu wakes up.” I said.
“OK. I’ll tell Cathy when she wakes up. I’ll tell your adviser you cannot come to school today. Do you have exams today?” She asked. So this is how it feels to have an older sister who gets worried about you when you’re in trouble or something. Even if it’s only on the phone and I can only hear her voice through it, I can feel the warmth in her words, every word she utters is like a hug that says “You made me worry. Don’t do that again, ok?”
“Thank you. Nope I don’t have exams till next week. Thank you Onee-chan”.
“You’re welcome. We’ll try to drop by sometime in the afternoon after work.” She said and hanged-up the phone.
As I walk back to the room I was thinking what’s wrong with Chizu. She seems fine when we had a shouting conversation back in school and suddenly she became ill. I wish it wasn’t because she’s not feeding herself well.
When I open the door of her room I found Chizu sitting on her bed leaning on the wall.
“Uh Chizu are you OK now?” I said as I briskly walk towards her. “You collapsed and..”
“I’m sorry.” She said.
“Huh?”
“I’m sorry.” She said again. She’s not looking at me she’s just looking down and seems like ashamed of what had happened.
“Now now don’t say that, I’m glad you called, who knows what will happen to you when I didn’t come, right?” I said cheerfully hoping that my words will cheer her up too. I don’t really mind going in their house and besides it is me who run over there to check her up after I heard her collapsed over the phone.
“Yeah true” She said sulkily.
“Why didn’t you tell anybody you’re not feeling well since morning and why did you come to school? You should’ve rested in your house so this wouldn’t happen.” I said with an angry and worried tone. I don’t want to tell her that but since she’s being stupid going to school in that condition I felt like I need to tell her that.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want anyone to get worried because of me.” She answered with a low tone, still looking down.
“By hiding what you really feel makes everyone more worried about you than telling them that you’re ok every time they ask.” I don’t know what came up to me but those words just blurted out. I know that’s what I really feel about the situation though.
“Huh?” She then looked at me with a sad but puzzled face.
“There are people who always think about you Chizu, and they are worried about you.”
“That’s what I’m avoiding. Since my parents die, many people are showing sympathy towards me.” She replied and looked at the window beside her bed. “Don’t get me wrong but I don’t want to make anybody sad or worried because of me. I do appreciate everything they’ve done since they [my parents] passed away. I don’t want people to get sad and hurt because of me. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Mm?”
“You’re being selfish.” I’m totally upset on what she said. She doesn’t want to be a burden? What is she thinking? “You only hurt them more by not saying anything. The more you hide your worries from the people around you the more you make them worry. The fact that they don’t know what’s really going on in you makes things even worst for them.”
“Sorry Miyagi.” She muttered.
“Just like now!” I continued because when I feel like I need to say something; I won’t stop till I pointed that out. “I thought you’re OK, I thought you’re doing fine but LOOK! Did you even know how I felt after seeing you on the floor unconscious!!? MAN!! You are not alone, you know that? We’re here to help you out.”
She stayed silent after that and I felt like I gone a little bit over board.
“I’m sorry Chizu.” I said calmly.
“. . . .”
“You should rest now. I’ll be going to your house to get some of your stuffs while you’re in here.” I said but when I was about to stand up she stopped me.
“Miyagi.” She said.
“Huh? What is it?”
“I like you” she muttered
“huh?”
“Don’t leave me Miyagi. I like you.” She said. I was caught off guard. I didn’t expect it from her. I don’t know what to say. I was shocked. It’s something I didn’t even see coming but…
“Thank you.” I responded. I can’t think of a better response and I don’t want to be harsh but my heart is taken already by someone else. I don’t want to hurt her really.
She then smiled and looks down again.
“You’re still waiting for her don’t you?” She asked.
“How did you know?”
“It’s not like that I’m the only girl got dumped by you because you’re still waiting for that girl right?” She said but this time it’s not with a sad tone but rather her normal tone of voice. It’s true, I’m not bragging or anything but I’m kinda popular with girls outside my school but I’m waiting for somebody to come back and I love her. I love her so much that even I’ve been waiting for 3 years I’m still hoping that she’ll come back. “I didn’t even know Thank You would be a painful word.” She continued.
“I’m sorry Chizu I don’t want to hurt you that’s why I’ve said thank you.” I replied.
“Hahaha… You’re funny… When you got dumped by someone you love, every word he will say will still be painful Miyagi, you know.. Such an idiot.” She said. I know behind that smile and laugh is her heart being ripped off, by me, and deep inside me there’s something hurting too. The feeling that I’ve hurt somebody hurts me too or even more, especially Chizu is so close to me.
“Chizu…”
“Call me Mari from now on.” She said with a smile.
“M.. Mari?” I hesitantly replied.
“Yes! Can I call you Hiro?”
“Uhm sure… I’m really sorry, I couldn’t…” I just can’t continue my sentence. I don’t really know what to say to comfort her.
“Don’t talk to me for a while Hiro.” She said, still smiling at me.
“Huh?”
“It hurts. I just need time for me to get myself back I guess.” She then turns to the window. “I just need time so don’t you ever dare to show your face in front of me.”
“Chizu…”
“UNDERSTOOD!!!?!” She shouted.
I nodded and then walked away. I wanted to say more but if that will make her feel better that I need to do it. I closed the door slowly try to peek inside and what I saw really broke my heart. I saw her crying intensely but silently, trying to hide it from me. Chizu, if only I could, I will.
